FEELING UNREAL OR DETACHED?
ONLINE THERAPY FOR DEPERSONALIZATION & DEREALIZATION
"I feel like unreal — like I'm watching myself from outside..."
"Nothing feels quite real anymore..."
"It's like I'm living in a dream..."
If this is you—if you're walking through life like a ghost, disconnected from yourself and the world around you—you are not broken, and you are not alone. This experience has a name. It has an explanation. And more importantly, it can change.
I know, because I’ve lived it.
That sense of watching yourself, of feeling like a character in someone else’s movie, isn’t random. It’s a defense mechanism. Your mind, in an effort to protect you, has numbed reality—either from trauma, anxiety, or sheer overload.
The problem? It doesn’t know when to switch off the “protection mode.” So, you stay trapped. Floating. Watching.
But you don’t have to stay there.
Recent research on feeling unreal and depersonalization shows that specialized therapy approaches can significantly improve these experiences. The journey from feeling unreal back to connection is possible with the right support.
Moving Beyond Feeling Unreal: A Path Back to Connection
Research shows that specialized therapy can help you move from feeling unreal back to a grounded sense of presence. Internal Family Systems Therapy and other integrative approaches have been shown to reconnect you to yourself and the world. Our work together includes:
1. Direct Experience Work
- Mapping your unique experience: Understanding how your sense of unreality manifests.
- Rebuilding connection: Developing strategies to feel present in your body and environment.
- From disconnection to presence: Learning how to anchor yourself in real-time experiences.
2. Internal System Healing
- Understanding the why: Identifying the protective mechanisms that led to disconnection.
- Working with—not against—your mind: Gently reintegrating the parts of you that created distance as a defense.
- Building inner stability: Creating harmony between your past survival responses and your present needs.
Understanding the Forces Behind Feeling Unreal
Anxiety and Feeling Unreal: When Fear Pulls You Out of Reality
When anxiety and depersonalization collide, it can feel impossible to stay grounded. Anxiety overstimulates the nervous system, pushing you into a state of detachment as a way to cope. Research from the Advances in Psychiatric Treatment shows that addressing both anxiety and dissociation together is key to long-term relief.
Our work will focus on:
- Breaking the anxiety-dissociation loop: Identifying what triggers your detachment and learning techniques to interrupt it.
- Grounding in the present: Using mindfulness-based therapy and structured exercises to reconnect with your body and surroundings.
- Calming the nervous system: Soothing the fight-or-flight response that keeps you feeling unreal.
Trauma and Feeling Unreal: When Disconnection Becomes a Shield
For many, feeling unreal isn’t random—it’s a protective response. When faced with overwhelming trauma, the mind creates a buffer, pulling you away from reality to prevent emotional overload. While this may have helped you survive, long-term dissociation can leave you feeling cut off from life.
Therapy helps you:
- Understand the connection: Identifying how past experiences shaped your current dissociation.
- Work with—not against—your defense mechanisms: Gently reintegrating the parts of you that created distance as protection.
- Build new safety patterns: Using trauma-focused therapies like Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Gestalt Therapy to restore a sense of wholeness.
Depression and Feeling Unreal: When the World Feels Numb
Depersonalization and derealization often accompany depression, amplifying emotional numbness and making the world feel distant. It’s as if life is happening, but you’re not *in* it. The longer this state persists, the harder it can feel to reconnect.
Our work focuses on:
- Restoring emotional engagement: Combining Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) with mindfulness to reawaken connection to yourself and others.
- Breaking through the fog: Practical strategies to lift the weight of emotional detachment.
- Rebuilding a felt sense of presence: Step by step, rediscovering your vitality and ability to feel alive again.
Your Path Back to Feeling Real
Stepping out of the fog of depersonalization isn’t just possible—it’s something we can *actively build together*. You don’t have to wait for reality to “click” back into place. Through our work, you will:
- Understand why this is happening: Pinpoint the triggers and mechanisms keeping you disconnected.
- Develop practical tools: Learn strategies to bring yourself back into the moment when unreality takes over.
- Address the deeper roots: Work through the emotional and neurological patterns fueling depersonalization.
- Rebuild a sense of connection: Strengthen your presence in your body, relationships, and daily life.
- Trust yourself again: Move from questioning reality to knowing you *belong* in it.
"I've walked this road, and I’ve led others through it. You are not lost. You are not beyond help. The path back to yourself is here—let’s take the first step together."
The Science of Disconnection—and How to Reconnect
Your brain isn’t failing you—it’s protecting you. Dissociation is a survival response, a way your nervous system shields you from overwhelming emotions or trauma. Research on dissociation confirms that this is not “all in your head” but a deeply rooted neurological response. The good news? Just as your brain learned to disconnect, it can learn to reconnect.
Understanding Your Brain’s Defense System
When disconnection happens, your brain’s protective systems are in **overdrive**. Instead of processing stress in real time, it shuts down your sense of presence, creating a feeling of unreality. But breakthroughs in neuroscience show that **targeted therapies can work with your brain—not against it—to bring you back.**
For instance, studies on dissociation and brain rhythms reveal that specific neural patterns are linked to dissociative states. This research is opening doors to **new, effective interventions that help restore your connection to reality.**
---Building Your Recovery Toolkit
Practical Strategies to Reconnect
Recovery isn’t just about understanding what’s happening—it’s about **changing how it happens.** In our work together, we’ll develop real-world strategies to help you regain presence and control:
- Grounding techniques: Learn how to bring yourself back in moments of disconnection.
- Recognizing early warning signs: Identify the signals that dissociation is creeping in so you can respond before it takes hold.
- Rebuilding body connection: Strengthen your awareness of physical sensations to anchor yourself in the present.
- Developing resilience: Create a sustainable system to prevent future episodes and regain trust in your own mind.
How Lifestyle Impacts Recovery
Your daily habits play a **huge** role in how grounded and connected you feel. We’ll integrate science-backed approaches to help you stabilize and strengthen your recovery:
- Optimizing sleep: Deep rest can reset your nervous system. Studies confirm its role in emotional regulation.
- Mindful movement: Yoga, stretching, and even simple breathwork can restore a sense of physical presence.
- Stress reduction: Learning to calm your system before it overwhelms you is key.
- Strengthening social connection: Healing doesn’t happen in isolation—we’ll explore ways to build healthy, supportive relationships.
Integration & Long-Term Wellbeing
Recovery isn’t just about stopping dissociation—it’s about creating a life where you don’t need to dissociate. Our work together will focus on:
- Understanding your triggers: Unpacking what pulls you into disconnection so you can break the cycle.
- Building trust in yourself: Strengthening your ability to stay present, even in difficult moments.
- Developing sustainable well-being: Creating daily practices that keep you connected and engaged.
- Transforming your relationship with yourself: Moving from fear and detachment to **confidence and presence.**
Depersonalization is not a life sentence—research confirms that real recovery is possible. Studies on depersonalization treatment show that targeted therapy can significantly improve symptoms, helping people regain a sense of reality and presence.
Even the British Journal of Psychiatry has recognized the power of integrated treatment approaches for DPDR—validating what many of us have experienced firsthand: with the right tools, you can reconnect, rebuild, and reclaim your life.
For those wanting to dive deeper, organizations like the International Society for the Study of Trauma and Dissociation offer a wealth of resources to help understand and navigate depersonalization and derealization recovery.
